Faggot!!

Well, I got a friend who’s a man (who’s a man)
What man?
The man who keeps me from the lonely, the only
He gives me what I need
What you need? What you got?
I need it all oh so badly

Oh, anything I want he gives it to me
Anything I want he gives it, but not for free
It’s Hateful
And it’s paid for and I’m so grateful to be nowhere

The Clash – Hateful

Okay, first I want to lead off by saying I’m a happy, if somewhat frustrated at times, heterosexual. I usually don’t think about it much, like I don’t think about my thinning and greying hair. It’s one of those things in my life that just *is*. That was for my Mom’s (and my Dad if he were alive, right Mitch?) benefit. Now that I’ve cleared that up, what is it about two dudes kissing each other that get’s people’s panties in a bunch?!? Honestly, it baffles me what the big deal is. I’ve known gay people since I’ve been in high school and they’ve had the same problems, the same dreams and the same hopes as anyone else. They just like to kiss people that have the same equipment as they do.

My speech teacher in college was gay, guys I worked with at Lowes Flowers were gay, people I worked with in Community Theatre were gay, my chief engineer in one of the post houses I worked at was gay, the guys I bought my house from were gay, the stylist who cut my hair was gay, the neighbors who moved in next door to me were gay. In Chicago I was right down the street from a leather bar, I danced at the gay/straight club Berlin, I went to the Gay Pride Parade, I was dragged to a gay bar in Minneapolis by my dear friend Dithy, I’ve been to Lipsticks in Atlanta and Baton in Chicago, both drag bars…. Y’know what? After all that exposure to gay people, gay culture and the “homosexual agenda”, I still want to nail Lauren Graham and Drew Barrymore and Mena Suvari and Christina Ricci and Alicia Silverstone and Lexa Doig and Utada Hikaru and the waitress from the Imperial Palace and countless other women who have come in and out of my life. Actually, I have managed to nail a few who have come in and out of my life . If the idea is to turn impressionable straight men to the gay lifestyle, then the ”homosexual agenda” has apparently failed miserably and all efforts were wasted on me.

And OMG, some folks are *so* freaked out by gays that they see the “gay threat” even in animated movies. Thank God Michael Medved is there to point this out to us and warn us of the inherent danger. This is part of his review of the movie Happy Feet:

As in so many other recent films, there’s a subtext that appears to plead for endorsement of gay identity. Mumbles (the voice of Elijah Wood) displeases his parents and the leaders of his community because he’s born different, and makes an impassioned plea that he can’t possibly change – and they should accept him as he is.

Heaven forfend that we don’t all march in lockstep with one another or there might be *gasp* differences between us!! (there’s a commercial on this link they force you to watch first, but this video is *so* worth it) Lewis Black pointed out on the Daily Show that Cinderella, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Ugly Duckling story must all be pleas for endorsement of gay identity as well. Y’know Michael, there’s evidence that Repressed Homosexuality Could Be Root of Homophobia. I’ve always wondered about you and Roger Ebert.

We all remember Reverend Ted? Well we’ve had another evangelical minister disclose that he was gay again this week in Colorado. Reverend Paul Barnes from another mega-church called Grace Chapel admitted that, “I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy” and that, “I can’t tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away.”

I feel for the man, I honestly do. I has to be terrible believing that you’re somehow broken. The debate over whether homosexuality is nature or nurture is far from over and in the absence of scientific evidence to support one or the other, the battling convictions have got to take their toll on a person. I ran across this incredibly balanced website while I was looking up references for this blog and sadly found this quote:

We have exchanged Emails with hundreds of visitors to this web site about the Bible and homosexuality. Most fall into one of two groups:

Religious liberals promote homosexual ordinations, same-sex marriage, civil union ceremonies in the church, equal protection under hate-crime legislation, protection against discrimination in employment, etc. as fundamental human rights issues.

Religious conservatives feel that the Bible teaches that homosexual behavior is always a serious sin. Allowing sexually active gays and lesbians to be ordained, or to have their committed relationships recognized by the church would involve a drastic and unacceptable lowering of church standards. The church would be condoning sin. They also oppose including sexual orientation in hate-crime and anti-discrimination legislation.

We have been unable to change the beliefs or actions of any of these hundreds of people on even one point related to homosexuality. Their views appear to be fixed. It is doubtful that much progress towards compromise on homosexual rights can be made by means of dialogue. We don’t expect that the attached essays will change the beliefs of many visitors to this web site. However, the essays may help people understand opinions that are not their own.

If direct e-mail correspondence with people who look like they have a reasonable and balanced website can’t change a single person’s beliefs or actions, I’m sure I have no hope of doing so with my little rant here. There does occasionally seem to be a glimmer of hope though. Mitch sent me an article awhile back from Oliver “Buzz” Thomas, a Baptist minister and author of an upcoming book, 10 Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You (But Can’t Because He Needs the Job). His article is titled “When religion loses its credibility”

And on the Roman Catholic side we have Daniel A. Helminiak who wrote “What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality”

In the last election here in Colorado, voters opted to put into our State Constitution (!) that marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman. They further went on to defeat Referendum I which would’ve granted rights to domestic partners for things like hospital visitation and inheritance rights. Amendment 43 and Referendum I was a pretty resolute statement about most Coloradoan’s feelings on homosexuality. So much for the Right Wing’s desire for less government interference in our lives.

I’m not sure if it’s the short days making me pissy or the statement in this stupid article I read in the Denver Post that said, “We are committed to ensuring the leadership of New Life Church is clean”(apparently Rev. Ted was unwashed), but I felt compelled to vent today. Apparently the government didn’t learn from prohibition that you can’t legislate morality and the Church didn’t learn from Galileo that the scriptures aren’t based in scientific fact. I wish these tight ass homophobes would just get over it and start worrying about the hundreds of American men and women losing their lives because President Bush can’t admit he was wrong about Iraq. Gosh I hope I’ve offended someone . Now get back to work, you’re wasting the boss’ money!