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Another Day in Limbo

November 20, 2010

“While many people embrace the promise of tomorrow, too few celebrate the joy of now. And nobody does that like Denny Crane.”

“Well, let me tell you something. When you’ve got polar ice caps melting and breaking off into big chunks, and you’ve got Osama still hiding in a cave planning his next attack, and when you’ve got other rogue nations with nuclear arsenals, not to mention some whack job, homegrown, who can cancel you at any second, and when you’ve got… Mad Cow… ‘now’ gets high priority. And when you’re sitting on the balcony on a clear night, sipping scotch with your best friend, ‘now’ is everything.”

“Here’s to now.”

“Here’s to now!”

Alan Shepard and Denny Crane of Boston Legal

The scotch, hot tub and stars before I left were truly worth celebrating. I was going to post the “Official Rules To Cow Poker” with this installment, but a series of unfortunate events occurred and I haven’t been able to get anything “Official”. But in speaking with various people here’s what I’ve decided to do; I’m posting the “General Guidelines for Cow Poker” instead. Here’s the story. Cow Poker is a game you can play whilst driving in your car. Especially useful when driving long distances like through Nebraska or say, Georgia. The basic rules are simple and I’ll go over them right now.

The person (people) on one side of the car count cows on their side of the road. 1 cow = 1 point. The person (people) on the other side of the car count cows on *their* side of the road. The person with the most cows at the end of the trip wins. Simple enough. Both sides also have to keep their eyes on the opposite side of the road as well because of the next two rules.

Does this count?

Does This Count?

If there is a cemetery on the opposite side of the road and the other team calls it (“Cemetery!”), the people on the cemetery side of the car lose all their cows and start from zero again. It must be called however, there is no “automatic” loss. If it isn’t called it doesn’t count.

Ramshackle Barn!

Ramshackle Barn!

Also, if there’s a “ramshackle barn” on the opposite side of the road and the other team calls it (“Ramshackle Barn!”), the people on the barn side of the car lose *half* their cows. 42 now equals 21, and so forth.

So here’s where the points of contention arise. Say you’re driving and there’s a sign for the cemetery, but the actual cemetery is hidden from view, does that count as a cemetery? What actually constitutes a barn being “ramshackle” as opposed to being firmly shackled and in tact? Do other out buildings count as barns or is a loafing shed *not* a barn? I wanted to clear up these niggling questions, but coordinating time with the creators of Cow Poker has proven to be difficult to say the least. When I spoke to Mitch (not one of the inventors, but an avid player), he said that the entire object of the game is to waste time while driving, so arguing over the rules achieves the same goal as playing the game :-). Speaking with John (one of the actual inventors of the game), he said that sounded about right, so that’s where we are at this point.

3 points


With all that in mind, here are my suggestions. If you’re playing with someone who rode horses as a girl and can tell the difference between a loafing shed and a barn, you should clear that up right up front and avoid hours of arguing on the road. Otherwise just declare a “general ramshackle outbuilding” rule. Invent a few new rules just to keep things interesting. 3 points for a cement deer, 5 points for the Blessed Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine. 2 points for a “ridin’ cow”. Loose five points for a Cracker Barrel. Try and keep it light though. Do NOT make me stop this car!!

In between homes

In Between Jobs and Homes

In other news, the move from Denver to Chicago went smoothly enough. The movers decided to show up on the exact and only day I requested that they didn’t. About par for the course. Here’s something to keep in mind. If you ever want to *not* pay for meals for a month or so, move across the country. The people you’re moving away from will all want to take you out “one last time before you go” and the folks in your new city will all want to take you out to “celebrate your arrival.” It’s actually pretty cool.

Bonnie Brae

Ice Cream and Friends

To all my friends who I left in Denver, I miss you all and the great weather I left behind.

Free Meal #14

Free Meal #14

To all my friends in Chicago, yes, I’m happy to be back home with all of you.

I’m in an apartment that is smaller than the townhouse I had in Denver, so all my stuff doesn’t really have a place to land. I’m guessing the boxes I have will remain as they are until I find a place to live in a more “permanent” way. I finally got my server running again, so I can sync my iPhone again. That was a pain in the butt, but nothing anyone wants to hear about. We’ve got plans to do another Christmas Movie this year, but we’ll see how that shapes up. Hopefully I’m settled in and I’ll be able to post these more often now. I know how you all check your in-boxes everyday hoping to find I’ve made another post. Until the next time, let me know who wins at Cow Poker in your family.

Love ya,
– G

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